How NOT To Get Arrested By The Fashion Police

The best outfit can be ruined by a few simple faux-pas. Don’t commit fashion suicide! Simply follow the below:

1) Proper undergarments! VPL(visible panty line) can make you look like you have 4 asses and a muffin top when you actually don’t. Ensure your underwear fits well, does’t cut into your waist(or butt or hips), and lays flat. My best reco in Hanky Panky. http://www.netaporter.com

I'm too sexy to wear...proper undies — I’m too sexy to wear…proper undies

2) Match your undergarments to your outfit. Drives me nuts to see thongs peeking out of low cut jeans or a black panty under white pants, and vice versa. And always, always wear a nude bra and panties under white anything. Your undergarments should NEVER show, unless you are trying to make a fashion statement.

3) Take proper care of your shoes. If your heel is needing some TLC, take them to the cobbler(shoe repair guy/gal). Nothing says ” I don’t give a shit what I look like” more than a raggedy pair of shoes. I bring my shoes 1-2 times per year and they have lasted me ages. I resole my pumps and boots and repair the heels. Always.

4) De-pill your sweaters. You know those fuzzies that accumulate around the areas where you have most friction…underarm, butt, etc. I use a sweater comb from JCrew, but a razor(yes, for shaving) or pumice stone is good as well. Just be careful, especially with fine knits.

5) Wear a belt on the SLIMMEST part of your body-your waist or under your chest.I see many ladies slinging a belt around the hips, which is usually the widest point on your figure. It is like saying ” Yoohoo, look over here”. That is what a belt does. Unless you are pregnant, never, ever do this.

6) Camel toe. Enough said. Means pants are too tight or cut wrong.

7) Sandals with socks or stockings. Don’t do it. If you need some support under a cocktail dress, wear Spanx.

Surest way to look like granny... — Surest way to look like granny…

8) Too short or too long pants. Please make friends with your local tailor and get your pants hemmed to perfection. The ideal length should hit right in the middle of your heel. This is the classic measure.

I knew you would ask... — I knew you would ask…

9) Too tight clothing. Ladies, make sure your clothes fit and properly button. Bunching around the buttons is the surest sign you have outgrown your fave shirt….oh well, excuse to go shopping!!!

10) Muffin top. I think this fashion criminal needed a bit more exposure. Low cut pants, if not from soft material, can create muffin top. Don’t buy the pants if they do this to your body!!!!